Step 1: Find your volume!
Convert the following to meters:
A) You pant size in inches. There are .0254 meters in 1 inch, so if you waist is 30 inches around that would be .762
B) Convert your height into meters. If you were 5'6 feet tall you would then be 1.67m tall
C) Multiply these numbers (for above example would have 1.273) together to give your volume and convert to a usable volume by multiplying by 1x10^6 (now it is 1.27x10^6).
Step 2: What is your mass in grams?!
A) Convert your weight in pounds to grams. 1 pounds = 453.59237 grams, so you can do the math. If you weighed 160 pounds you would have a mass in grams of 72574 grams.
Step 3: Find your density!
A) Take your mass and divide it by your volume (72572/1.27x10^6) = 0.057!!!
B) Multiply by your age (this conversion assures that no babies will ever be considered Chinese Hookers)... sooo 0.057X15 for the example gives a density of 0.855
Now... to find out if you are a Chinese Hooker compare your density to that of DMF (0.949).
If your density is greater (unlike this example), you are indeed a CHINESE HOOKER!!!
BTW... My density was 1.09 -- I AM A CHINESE HOOKER
Thanks Drew for your fabulous work in determining this equation!