Count Faithula (fejacobsen) wrote in turquoise_box,
Count Faithula

Are YOU a Chinese Hooker?

Let's do a sample problem using an imaginary person who is 15 years old, wears size 30 pants, is 5'6 tall and weighs 160 pounds.

Step 1: Find your volume!

Convert the following to meters:

A) You pant size in inches. There are .0254 meters in 1 inch, so if you waist is 30 inches around that would be .762

B) Convert your height into meters. If you were 5'6 feet tall you would then be 1.67m tall

C) Multiply these numbers (for above example would have 1.273) together to give your volume and convert to a usable volume by multiplying by 1x10^6 (now it is 1.27x10^6).

Step 2: What is your mass in grams?!

A) Convert your weight in pounds to grams. 1 pounds = 453.59237 grams, so you can do the math. If you weighed 160 pounds you would have a mass in grams of 72574 grams.

Step 3: Find your density!

A) Take your mass and divide it by your volume (72572/1.27x10^6) = 0.057!!!

B) Multiply by your age (this conversion assures that no babies will ever be considered Chinese Hookers)... sooo 0.057X15 for the example gives a density of 0.855

Now... to find out if you are a Chinese Hooker compare your density to that of DMF (0.949).
If your density is greater (unlike this example), you are indeed a CHINESE HOOKER!!!

BTW... My density was 1.09 -- I AM A CHINESE HOOKER

Thanks Drew for your fabulous work in determining this equation!
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um... your volume equation is wrong. it should be height * pi * (waist size / 2) ^ 2...
no, it's not

because your waist size is your circumference


Volume of cylinder = h*Pi*r^2

So if you substitute in your volume will be = h*C
circumference is pi*diameter, or 2*pi*r.

area is pi*r^2.

so area in terms of diameter is (waist^2)/(4*pi) so we were both wrong.

You're right.... okay... That's the last time I trust Drew to give me the formula for circumference without double checking with GOOGLE!!!

Now that I've confronted him about it he claims to have heard "circumcision" instead of circumference. I think he just can't get the hedgehog ceremony off his mind.
see i knew something wasn't right cuz the units didn't line up right.

and i don't even want to know how he calculated his circumcision.
Oh, and you also missed the errors where we're finding the density of ourselves in g/L and then comparing it to g/mL and where we then multiply that value by age.

It's just an equation that takes some measurements of a person and converts that into a fake density so that everyone aside from youngons are Chinese Hookers.
actually... the 1x10^6 is wrong too, isn't it? cuz you were in cubic meters (or, cu m for short) but you want cubic cm which is the same as mL... but that's only a 1x10^4 conversion.

of course, by the time you hit age, i realized that the calculations were all fallacious, but it was fun being nerdy and picking them apart anyway :-) incidentally, why compare to DMF?
now i realize i'm stupid and 100^3 would be 10^6. Duh. Ignore that part.
47174g/1.04e6 = 0.045g/cm3 x 26 = 1.18

I an TOTALLY a chinese hooker :)
Dude... you're more of a hooker than I AM!!!
ok so by the "flawed" math my density is 1.31 so i am a chinese hooker.

by real math, i'm 0.217 m3, or 217,075.8168 mL. so my density is 0.3971546*24 = 9.53. I'm a damn good chinese whore!
.056831 was mass (in g) over volume (in?). This makes no sense at all. Shoudln't I float?
Multiplied by the AGE CONVERSION??? I get 1.478
I just read the comments. It looks like I win. It pays to be older.