Step 1: Find your volume!

Convert the following to meters:

A) You pant size in inches. There are .0254 meters in 1 inch, so if you waist is 30 inches around that would be .762

B) Convert your height into meters. If you were 5'6 feet tall you would then be 1.67m tall

C) Multiply these numbers (for above example would have 1.273) together to give your volume and convert to a usable volume by multiplying by 1x10^6 (now it is 1.27x10^6).

Step 2: What is your mass in grams?!

A) Convert your weight in pounds to grams. 1 pounds = 453.59237 grams, so you can do the math. If you weighed 160 pounds you would have a mass in grams of 72574 grams.

Step 3: Find your density!

A) Take your mass and divide it by your volume (72572/1.27x10^6) = 0.057!!!

B) Multiply by your age (this conversion assures that no babies will ever be considered Chinese Hookers)... sooo 0.057X15 for the example gives a density of 0.855

Now... to find out if you are a Chinese Hooker compare your density to that of DMF (0.949).

If your density is greater (unlike this example), you are indeed a CHINESE HOOKER!!!

BTW... My density was 1.09 -- I AM A CHINESE HOOKER

Thanks Drew for your fabulous work in determining this equation!

music2mychakrasFebruary 24 2005, 01:54:02 UTC 12 years ago

fejacobsenFebruary 24 2005, 01:55:54 UTC 12 years ago

because your waist size is your circumference

C=Pi*r^2

Volume of cylinder = h*Pi*r^2

So if you substitute in your volume will be = h*C

music2mychakrasFebruary 24 2005, 01:58:07 UTC 12 years ago

area is pi*r^2.

so area in terms of diameter is (waist^2)/(4*pi) so we were both wrong.

fejacobsenFebruary 24 2005, 02:02:27 UTC 12 years ago

You're right.... okay... That's the last time I trust Drew to give me the formula for circumference without double checking with GOOGLE!!!

Now that I've confronted him about it he

claimsto have heard "circumcision" instead of circumference. I think he just can't get the hedgehog ceremony off his mind.music2mychakrasFebruary 24 2005, 02:04:39 UTC 12 years ago

and i don't even want to know how he calculated his circumcision.

fejacobsenFebruary 24 2005, 06:57:10 UTC 12 years ago

It's just an equation that takes some measurements of a person and converts that into a fake density so that everyone aside from youngons are Chinese Hookers.

music2mychakrasFebruary 24 2005, 07:00:55 UTC 12 years ago

of course, by the time you hit age, i realized that the calculations were all fallacious, but it was fun being nerdy and picking them apart anyway :-) incidentally, why compare to DMF?

music2mychakrasFebruary 24 2005, 07:09:51 UTC 12 years ago

## CHINESE HOOKER!!!

fluorescence13February 24 2005, 03:38:15 UTC 12 years ago

I an TOTALLY a chinese hooker :)

## Re: CHINESE HOOKER!!!

fejacobsenFebruary 24 2005, 05:59:27 UTC 12 years ago

music2mychakrasFebruary 24 2005, 07:09:13 UTC 12 years ago

by real math, i'm 0.217 m3, or 217,075.8168 mL. so my density is 0.3971546*24 = 9.53. I'm a damn good chinese whore!

## Wow, this is really dumb

happytimFebruary 26 2005, 09:25:02 UTC 12 years ago

Multiplied by the AGE CONVERSION??? I get 1.478

I just read the comments. It looks like I win. It pays to be older.